Where we were a year ago….

So, I’ve been asked how we ended up here in Thika.  I forget that some of you haven’t been on this journey with us from the start!

So for Donna, and perhaps others of you who haven’t been on this rollercoaster ride with us, I pulled a note that I wrote in early September reflecting on the journey that was leading us to come to Thika, Kenya.

It was a bit difficult re-reading and visiting again the emotions I felt the day I wrote this, but so it is.  This is the “note” as I posted it to facebook…where you can also find us!  For more info about Orphans Overseas and their work, you can check them out under the tab ”our cool hookup” on the main blog page.

As I write this, I am listening to:  Who Am I  by Casting Crowns.  A very appropriate song!

I truly do believe that we only see a small fraction of the total plan for our life at any given moment.

Case in point. In April, our next door neighbor offered us first dibs on her house that she was selling. This is the house that I covet (and yes, I know I should not covet anything, but this is my dream home). It is the storybook house in which I envision huge & noisy family gatherings at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Course it doesn’t have a great yard like our current tiny house, but that can always be fixed right? Anyhow, after agreeing that if the door remained open for us to purchase this house, we would, the door was slammed shut by the neighbor deciding she didn’t want to sell.

In June, I send an email out inquiring more of this Kenya project that keeps being brought up to Ian and I. Yet, in the back of my mind I remember the conversations I have been having with God over this huge life change. Since March I had prayed this sort of prayer…. “Ok God, so if you let me get pregnant, then no Kenya. If I don’t get pregnant, then perhaps Kenya.” We agree to talk with the organization more about the position in Kenya at the end of summer when things have slowed down….

In July, we find out we are pregnant, and I clearly remember thinking, “Ok, God, then no Kenya.”

In August, on Ian’s birthday, I am scheduled for my 10 week ultrasound. No heartbeat, no baby to be seen. Just an empty womb. I am by myself, left to absorb this heartwrenching news. On my drive home, I am sitting at a light signal and am struck by 2 birds (they look like eagles, but probably aren’t) soaring overhead and the phrase, “they will soar like eagles” and am put at peace because I am assured that my baby is safe and secure soaring with God, soaring like an eagle.

When I arrive home, a get a phone call asking for a time when Ian and I can come in to talk about Kenya. I hung up the phone, cried a lot, was generally pissy, stomped my feet in anger, and said out loud to God, “God, that was rude!” And thought about the cruel injustice of it all.

Later that day, the neonatal dude confirms that the pregnancy has a 90% chance of not being viable.

We accept the Kenya job on a Sunday, and I miscarry a few days later.

Wouldn’t have taken the job had they called even a day earlier, because I would have thought we were pregnant. It isn’t advised that pregnant women or newborns travel to areas that have yellow fever (Kenya). In what seemed like 1 day our lives changed dramatically….but we were allowed to see small parts of the plan that God has been working on for years.

It seems like only the start to an amazing journey for our entire family, and I am assured that there will be more babies/kids in our house…one way or another!

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Comments

One Response to “Where we were a year ago….”
  1. Karen says:

    This is the second time I’ve read that original post and it brought tears to my eyes again.

    Your journey this past year is amazing.

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